This is just a personal thing, so feel free to enter the raffle and move on. I won't judge any of you. I'm not in the mood for it.

I just need to vent a bit, maybe it'll help. So it's another story of a guy getting dumped. If that ain't your thing, laugh it off, give an F in chat or something else idk. Anyway, I've been after a girl from my school for a while, and we were getting along pretty well. She was someone I could actually call a "friend", which is not common for an oddball like me. I'm not a quirky Tumblr OC but I have kinda off-putting attitude, I tend to overthink and analyze everything around me, that kind of stuff.

She is a good writer, very smart and pretty. She could make things that I was trying to learn, which really impressed me, and still does. One day I was talking to her and I spilled the beans. She was taken aback by this but a few seconds later she said that she felt the same about me for 2 months or so. That was one of the best moments of my life (which most of you would say is boring, consisting mostly of being a couch potato). We started hanging out together more often, going to a local library, looking for our favourite books (she's really into Japan, I'm really into Middle-Earth, and we love to exchange little facts about both worlds).

It looked really promising,but then, as I always do, I started to think way too much. I got scared. "What if it's not real?" "What if I just want to have any gf not just this particular one"? I told her that I need a bit more time to think about our situation and she agreed. By that time she was sure of her feelings. We met a couple times after that. We talked over our problems. I won't tell you much, because I care a lot about her, but she felt and problably still feels a bit lost in her mind. A brrage of thoughts that she cannot fully control. She is also concerned about her other friends who coincidentally also had problems at the same time. I had a little crisis. I reconed that I lost all feelings for her, so I decided to tell her just that, but then I realised that it's all coming back when I simply stop worrying and thinking. It was a great relief, so I wrote to her and we met at the train station since we live outside of the city. She took me to a bench that was far away from any people so that we could talk alone.

She said that she wants to break up and that does not feel what she felt just 2 months ago. We talked it over and I thought that I understood everything. But now my brain is back at it again, thinking. "We have extremely a lot in common, but we just don't fit together" is the thing that's stuck in my head for a week now.

We could understand each other perfectly without talking to this point. Our minds were the same but raised differently. Compatible and understanding but also curious of one another. It's not my imagination. She told me that we're almost the same person, but she doesn't feel it anymore.

I'm lost, I can wait, and I will. But deep inside I know it's futile and my heart will be broken again. But she still loves to talk to me and can talk about things she thought are exclusive to her broken mind. I just want her back and I know that if I play my game well enough I can win her back. But I guess I'm just not good enough.